Planning the funeral for a spouse that has passed away is not an easy task by any means, but you have plenty of help available at the funeral home and beyond. The important thing is to keep in mind what your spouse would have wanted and how you can best celebrate the life of your husband or wife. If you are in charge of funeral plans for your spouse, be sure to avoid these common mistakes.
Mistake #1: Trying to Do It All on Your Own
New widows and widowers can easily get overwhelmed by the weight of their grief alone. When you add in the fact that the surviving spouse typically is in the position to plan the funeral and make other important decisions about their lost husband or wife, it may feel like something has to give.
Something can and should give. Reach out to ask for any help you need. If you don't feel like calling friends or family members, reach out to the funeral home professionals for advice.
Mistake #2: Attempting to Please Everyone
When you are planning a funeral, you may discover that everyone has an opinion. Your spouse's siblings, parents, and even an ex may want to weigh in on what your life partner would have wanted. Even if people don't speak up, you may feel a silent pressure to please everyone. Try to silence that inner voice and trust yourself.
While the funeral is an important ritual, it is one event, and no choice you make will be a defining one for the person's life. So, trust that you will make the right decisions and go for what you think is best.
Mistake #3: Failing to Consult with Kids from Previous Marriages
When a spouse passes away, any children the person had should get top priority behind you in decisions and responsibilities. That should include your own kids you share and any ones they had from previous relationships. Try to involve them all in the funeral plans.
If you suspect that the children from your spouse's previous marriages feel left out of the funeral or they simply cannot attend the services, be sure to reach out to them. You may want to suggest activities that will help them feel included or ask their advice on an important decision about the funeral.
Finally, keep in mind that planning the funeral of a spouse may be one of the most difficult responsibilities you have to face while you're in mourning. However, the good news is that it can also be rewarding in its own way. It is the chance to celebrate the life of your beloved and gather with others who loved your spouse as you share your grief at the loss, gratitude for having the spouse you did, or anything else you may be feeling. Choosing a good funeral home is so important, so choose somewhere that you can trust, like FitzGerald-Sommer Funeral Home.